REALLY GOOD INFORMATION on bullying
WHO SHOULD ATTEND OUR ANTI-BULLYING PROGRAM? The best way to help children not become victims of bullies is by teaching them bully-proofing skills. Victims of bullies usually exhibit poor communication skills and tend to be left out of activities, leaving them isolated. Our equine assisted learning programs have proven to be ideal for a child who exhibits anti-social communication skills as they provide training in social skills which improves communication skills, emotional, physical, mental and spiritual wellness, self-esteem, and encourages sensory stimulation and ultimately, integration.
WHY CREATE MORE VICTIMS? A child with bullying issues may be just as much a victim in his own life as the child he directs his aggression towards. Many bullies are children who have been overlooked, misdiagnosed, suffering from neurological disabilities, or abused children themselves. Our equine therapy programs are ideal for a child who exhibits aggressive behavior by promoting positive leadership skills, developing choice-making skills and goal-setting skills and encouraging responsibility, creativity and laughter.
VICTIMS OF BULLIES Our equine programs have proven to be ideal for a child who exhibits anti-social communication skills as they provide training in social skills which improves communication skills, emotional, physical, mental and spiritual wellness, self-esteem, and encourages sensory stimulation and ultimately, integration.
THE BULLY Our equine programs are ideal for a child who exhibits aggressive behavior by promoting positive leadership skills, empathy, developing kindness and choice-making skills and encouraging responsibility, creativity and laughter. The youth that teachers, counselors and the principal feel display behavioral issues, or who are withdrawn, will benefit most from the program.
BULLYING ISSUES CAN BE SOLVED THROUGH EQUINE ASSISTED LEARNING The news is filled with stories about teen bullies and their victims. We see videos directed towards the victims, such as the "It Gets Better" series of PSA's. What we don't see is the flipside, life from the bully's perspective. A child with bullying issues may be just as much a victim in his own life as the child he directs his aggression towards. Many bullies are children who have been overlooked, misdiagnosed, suffering from neurological disabilities, or abused children themselves. Our equine programs are ideal for a child who exhibits aggressive behavior and anti-social communication skills.
HORSE, FOLLOW CLOSELY Native American author, G'Wani Pony Boy, has often written about man's tangled history with the horse. From Biblical times onward the horse has served man in war, in peace, and as a symbol of God's Might. Horses have a unique temperament among animals. They require a gentle hand, a common bond, and a loving heart. In return they provide you with the grace and strength of their bodies, but also (some say) a spiritual connection unlike that of other animals. For a child who is dealing with bullying issues, the magic that exists in the thunderous heart of these beautiful beasts can provide the nonjudgmental, trusting friend to help them begin their internal healing.
THE CALMING EFFECTS OF HORSES Equine programs have been used in prison systems to help inmates learn gentility, trust, and compassion. Violent inmates have been given the task of caring for retired racehorses that would otherwise be put down. Over time, these inmates became more docile, more responsible for their duties and actions, and displayed a willingness to engage in behavioral therapies. These high-strung Thoroughbred horses were well taken care of, retrained for riding purposes, and displayed a change in temperament, as well. Creating a bond between animal and caregiver has proven to work "miracles". For the aggressive or anti-social child, equine therapy can make all the difference in the world. Horses are prey animals. They are able to sense aggression even if it is not exhibited outwardly. Their prey animal nature makes them one of the most responsive animals to human interaction; watching, observing, and reacting to their human caregiver. Working with horses teaches children that they will accomplish more though being assertive in a positive way rather than forcing their way through life and being aggressive.
FROM ANGER TO PEACE Equine Assisted Learning programs are wonderful for helping troubled children and teens re-establish themselves as confident and assertive young people without the need for aggression. Many of the bullying issues in children and teenagers are brought about from living for an extended period of time in difficult circumstances. There may even be cases of abuse and neglect that have forced a child to react to the world with aggression and mistrust. Often the only refuge for a person who has been abused is to become the abuser themselves. An equine program is one of the most remarkable forms of therapy that you can give to a child who is in danger of becoming a statistic. Research has shown that people who are in contact with animals, even for short period of time, experience a better quality of health, as well as a more stable and measured outlook on life. Being around a friendly and responsive animal significantly decreases the levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Many children and young people with bullying issues have raised levels of cortisol and live in a continual cycle of stress. The same is true for a victim of bullying; just being around horses can raise the levels of confidence and assertion within a timid child. Children with bullying issues who attend the formal teaching and equine assisted learning programs here at Equine Connection have shown a significant improvement in a short period of time. This type of therapy works almost miraculous results and has been used effectively by state funded juvenile departments as a way to reach out to children who are on the edge, and those are the ones that we need to save.
BULLYING MYTHS MYTH: BULLYING DOES NOT CAUSE ANY SERIOUS HARM. Fact: Bullying is associated with a range of physical and mental health problems, as well as suicide, educational problems, antisocial problems, and relationship problems. For example: Victimized children are more likely to report headaches and stomach aches than non-victimized children (Due et al., 2005; Williams, et al., 1996). Children who both bully and are victimized may be at greatest risk for physical health problems. Victimized children are more likely to report anxiety and depressive symptoms than children uninvolved in bullying (Due et al, 2005; Kaltiala-Heino et al, 1999). Of greatest concern is the fact that psychiatric problems associated with involvement in bullying tend to persist into later life (Kumpulainen & Rasanen, 2000). A high risk of suicidal ideation (having thoughts of suicide) is found among children who are bullied, who bully others, and who are involved in both roles (Kaltiala-Heinoet al., 1999). Both victimized children and children who bully are at risk for poor school functioning, in terms of poor attitudes towards school, low grades, and absenteeism (Rigby, 2003; Tremblay, 1999). 20-25% of frequently victimized children report bullying as the reason for missing school (Rigby, 2003). Youth who bully others are more likely to use alcohol and drugs(Pepler et al., 2002), and are at risk for later criminality. For example, 60% of boys who bully others in elementary school had criminal records by age 24 (Olweus, 1991). Solution: It is essential to identify children at risk for bullying and/or victimization and to provide support for their development in order to prevent the negative consequences associated with this type of disrespectful peer relationship.
MYTH: CHILDREN GROW OUT OF BULLYING. Fact: Without intervention, a significant proportion of youth who bully others in childhood will continue to use their power negatively through adolescence and into adulthood. The nature of bullying changes as children mature. From early adolescence, new forms of aggression, carried out from a position of power, emerge. With developing thinking and social skills, children become aware of others' vulnerabilities and of their own power relative to others. Bullying then diversifies into more sophisticated forms of verbal, social, homophobic, and sexually- and racially-based aggression. Over time, these new forms of aggression are carried forward into different relationships and environments. The destructive lessons learned in childhood about the use of power may translate into sexual harassment in the workplace, dating violence, marital abuse, child abuse, and elder abuse. Solution: Early identification and intervention of bullying will prevent patterns of aggressive interactions from forming. Adults must be aware that bullying changes with age and may become more difficult to detect. MYTH: ONLY
A SMALL NUMBER OF CHILDREN HAVE PROBLEMS WITH BULLYING. Fact: Approximately 12% of girls and 18% of boys reported bullying others at least twice in previous months, whereas 15% of girls and 18% of boys reported being victimized at least twice over the same time period (Craig & Harel, 2004) These figures suggest that in a classroom of 35 students, between 4 and 6 children are bullying and/or are being bullied. Many more children observe bullying and know that it is going on. At some point, the majority of children will engage in some form of bullying and experience some form of victimization. A small minority of children will have frequent, long-lasting, serious, and pervasive involvement in bullying and/or victimization (Craig & Pepler, 2003). Solution: To ensure that children have healthy and productive relationships, it is important to include all children, regardless of their involvement in bullying, in bullying prevention programs. This means that programs and strategies must address the needs and provide the necessary support for children who are victimized, children who bully others, and children who watch bullying occur. MYTH:
CANADIANS ARE TOO NICE TO BULLY. Fact: On the recent World Health Organization (WHO) Health Behaviours in School-aged Children (HSBC) survey, Canada ranked a dismal 26th and 27th out of 35 countries on measures of bullying and victimization, respectively (Craig & Harel, 2004). Moreover, our position on the international stage has slipped relative to other countries. On the 1993/1994 survey, Canada's ranking on the prevalence of bullying and victimization was relatively higher than in the 2001/2002 survey (King et al., 1996); however, the prevalence of bullying and victimization among Canadian students has remained relatively stable. The drop in Canada's relative ranking in spite of stable rates, suggests that other countries have been preventing bullying problems more effectively than Canada. The high proportions of Canadian students who report bullying or being bullied confirm that this represents an important social problem for Canada. One of the reasons that Canada is ranked so poorly compared to other countries is our lack of a national campaign to address bullying problems. Solution: PREVNet (Promoting Relationships and Eliminating Violence) is a Networks Centre of Excellence — New Initiative. Launched in 2006, our vision is to stop bullying in Canada and to promote safe and healthy relationships for all Canadian children and youth. Led by scientific co-investigators, Dr. Debra Pepler of York University and Dr. Wendy Craig of Queen's University, this national network is the first of its kind in Canada and provides an unprecedented opportunity for social innovation and socialcultural change.
MYTH: REPORTING BULLYING WILL ONLY MAKE THE PROBLEM WORSE. Fact: Given the power imbalance that exists between the child who bullies and the child who is victimized, it is incredibly difficult for children who are being victimized to remove themselves from this destructive relationship. They make numerous attempts to make the bullying stop on their own but these efforts are usually unsuccessful and may make the bullying worse. Adult intervention is required to correct the power imbalance. Children and parents may have to report the bullying to more than one person before the behaviour will stop. We do know that victimized children who told an adult about being bullied reported being less victimized the following year compared to children who did not report being bullied (Yuile, Pepler, & Craig, 2004). When no one talks about bullying, children who bully feel they can carry on without consequences. Secrecy empowers children who bully. Solution: Children need to be encouraged to report bullying and be given multiple strategies to make these reports. Adults must convey the message that they want to know about children's experiences and that it is their job to make the bullying stop.
MYTH: CHILDREN WHO ARE VICTIMIZED NEED TO STAND UP AND FIGHT BACK. Fact: Encouraging children who are victimized to fight back may, in fact, makes the bullying interaction worse. We know that when children use aggressive strategies to manage bullying situations, they tend to experience prolonged and more severe bullying interactions as a result (Mahady Wilton, Craig, & Pepler, 2000). Solution: Children should be encouraged to be assertive, not aggressive, and to inform a trusted adult about what has happened to them.
MYTH: BULLYING IS A SCHOOL PROBLEM. Fact: Bullying occurs wherever children gather to live, learn, or play. As such, the majority of bullying tends to occur in the classroom, on the school playground, and on the school bus where children are most often together. Although bullying tends to occur in school, we know that bullying is a community problem, not just a school problem. As the primary institution in children's lives, schools can play a leadership role in addressing bullying problems. Solution: Adults are essential for children and youth's healthy relationships. All adults are responsible for creating positive environments, promoting healthy relationships, and ending violence in the lives of children and youth. They are role models and must lead by example and refrain from using their power aggressively. Adults must look for, listen, and respond to bullying. Adults can organize social activities in ways that protect and support children's relationships and stop bullying.
MYTH: BULLYING DOES NOT OCCUR WITHING THE FAMILY OR THE FAMILY HOME. Fact: Unfortunately, bullying does occur within families. Bullying is defined as a relationship problem in which there is repeated aggression by a person with greater power directed at a person with lesser power. Repeated aggression within family relationships is most commonly called "abuse" or "family violence", and within peer relationships it is called "bullying" or "harassment". The family is the first context in which children learn about relationships, and lessons learned in the family provide the foundation for future relationships. Research shows that there is a developmental connection between experiencing or witnessing abuse in the family, and experiencing or perpetuating bullying and abuse in future relationships. If we look closely at the elements of the definition of bullying, we can clearly see the overlap and subtle distinction between bullying and abuse, with abuse being a form of bullying that implies a violation of adult responsibility. o "Occurs in the context of a relationship". Abuse can also occur in romantic relationships between couples (spousal abuse, woman abuse), parents and children, (child abuse, elder abuse) and in other relationships in the extended family (grandparents, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.). Bullying can occur within sibling relationships and between cousins. o "When one person in the relationship has greater power than the other". In a romantic relationship, there is often an imbalance of power due to biological, cultural, psychological and economic factors. It is clear that parents have greater power due to the child's immaturity, vulnerability, and dependence on the caregiver. In relationships between adult children and their elderly parents, the balance of power becomes reversed as the caregiving role is reversed. Between siblings or cousins, it is often, but not always, the older child who has greater power because of greater size and maturity. o "Repeated aggression". Aggression can take many forms, but the common denominator is disrespect of another human being's rights to physical and psychological safety and sense of dignity. Within families, there is a universal expectation that those with greater power assume responsibility to safeguard the well being of more vulnerable family members. When there is a repeated pattern of the violation of this responsibility, either by neglect or by acts that cause distress, we use the term "abuse". When children and youth bully their peers, they violate the rights of the other; however they are not in the same position of responsibility for safeguarding the well-being of the other, due to their own immaturity. Thus, bullying can be seen as a signal that the child or youth needs support in learning about relationship values and skills. Solution: It is critically important that children experience secure and healthy relationships in the family. It is imperative that we teach our children that relationships in which there is a power imbalance are precisely the relationships in which the person with more power has the responsibility to safeguard the well being of the more vulnerable person. Through modeling respectful relationships and taking responsibility for the well being of those who are dependent and vulnerable, both within and beyond the family, adults can help to promote healthy relationships and prevent bullying and abuse.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
SO WHAT ABOUT...OUR SCHOOL/ORGANIZATION DOESN’T HAVE A BIG BUDGET TO DO THIS PROGRAM! Contact us. We will be able to work with what you have available through your school/organization.
HOW DO WE GET THERE? Transportation is the responsibility of the school/organization. We have a map and directions on our contact us page. Most participants are brought out in two vehicles by chaperones or teachers. This is the most cost effective method of transportation.
HERD DYNAMICS BARN LOCATED IN AJAX? IS THAT FAR AWAY? We’re located 15 minutes north of the 401 on Salem. It’s easily accessible.
EQUIPMENT? We provide all of the equipment for the program, you are just in charge of wearing clothes that you don't mind getting a little dirty and closed toed shoes. PERMISSION FORMS? We will send you the permission forms for the participants.
CHAPERONE? We do ask that 1-2 teachers or staff members accompany the group during the program.
ARE WE RIDING? No-sir-rie-bob! We only work with horses on the ground in their natural state. All of our work is out of the saddle. You will work alongside the horses as part of your team rather than as a tool. This way the horse can be its true self and not be "on the job". This allows for the best and true reaction of the horse and the most beneficial way of learning for you.
WHAT GROUP SIZES DO YOU WORK WITH? As small as 3 and to a maximum of 8. Have more people than that? Give us a shout and we can find a solution.
DO I NEED EXPERIENCE WITH HORSES? Nope. As our program does not require you to ride a horse, no prior experience is necessary. We will inform every group of the rules and safety precautions to take around the animals and the arena. We always put safety first, but we can accommodate everyone's different comfort levels around the horses.
WHAT IF I'M SCARED OR DON'T LIKE HORSES? If you aren't being pushed out of your boundaries, you aren't learning. This is an opportunity to overcome your fears or get over preconceived notions. We don't always get to pick our team members at work, do we?
WHAT IF IT IS RAINY, SNOWING OR COLD OUT? WILL WE FREEZE? We have an enclosed arena. We have to be out there too so we understand the need for a protected environment. Also, we all need to be comfortable to get the most out of the courses. If the weather outside is nice, we can always work in the sunshine, but too hot or too cold, we have the covered arena to keep us comfortable. Your program will take place regardless of the weather.
DO I NEED CERTAIN CLOTHING? Although chaps and a pair of cowboy boots aren't required, we do have certain safety requirements when it comes to your clothing. Simple things like closed toe shoes and dressing in clothes that you are ok with getting a little dusty. We will give you a full list of these safety measures, of course.
WHY HORSES? Cats, Dogs, horses... what's the difference? There is nothing like a 1,100 lb Teacher… By their intuitive nature and innate sensitivity, horses can provide facilitators with a window into the participants personality. As a prey animal, they are sensitive to the stimulus of each participant. They react to the stimulus through body language and participants must adjust their feelings and behaviors to work successfully with the horses. What can a horse teach you that a human can't? Horses consistently model assertiveness and teach us how. Horses can't lie or over think a participants motive. Horses feedback is honest and instant Nature provides them with instincts and senses that are very astute. Help to instill empathy and kindness in the participants. Horses have natural "herd dynamics" that require trust, respect and teamwork from all members of the team. Horses automatically respond to confusion and frustration as these feelings can put the herd at risk. They lead through assuredness - not brute force. Horses have distinct personalities and through this, they all have a different methods of teaching. What makes us remember? One of the many bonuses of working with horses vs. a classroom setting is the component of interactivity because we all learn differently, but we can all take away lessons that we learn through our experiences.